Yesterday changed my point of wiev on everything. That someone can scare people who cares for him so much, it's so freakin selfish. And I have the right to say, cous that's the only reason I haven't done anything like it.. It's fuckin selfish. Rather just do it, not making people around you feel guilty if you should sucxee... That's all I got to say. Everything's changed now.
and yeah, he won, he crushed me.
Yeah, we're all writing around the same subject, lies. Now I kinda regreth makin a new blog, I could've used the old one the way things are pictured now, people would even might understand me better. Well, the theeme on everyones lips are lies. And we all know why, no need to explain any further if you ask me, he got his lesson, I tried so hard and so many times, but for no use, and I stood there all alone because no one alse could see through his lies before later. Well now everything seems quite fine, I wish time could stop, just beeing there in the moments we all love, I just wish it was possible. Time together is just never quite enough is it?
Well I'm glad I got to talk through with Thomas today, and met a little bit of understanding, and I'm glad people back me up, and I'm glad they tell me where I've crossed the line, I couldn't have asked for better friends, thank you for beeing real, honest and accepting friends with true feelings, I couldn't asked for more. And if I dissapear for a while, no use to worry, I'll just need some time to recover
This bothered me as I swiped by Robins blog. Him writing for the first time, that I laid sleeping in his bed, he even called me his princess, and he tought I was so adorable. What he didn't tell is how he woke me up that day, he'd said clearly that it was all okay if i slept till he came home from work, he bumped me, and said: your getting up! NOW! I felt scared then, he had no perticular reason to act like that either, but he never told anyone that, did he?
The second thing bothering me is all my friends spending all the time at my x's place, if we just even had them in comment when we got to know eachother, but I introduced him for ALL of them, every each one. Now I sit left with 3 of the people he've met.
The third thing is me breaking down for so small things, like a group restored at nettby concluding him and my friends as a family yesterday, I seriously started crying. It's not as bad as I want it to be, but try to understand me. My friends is all I got. I have no family taking care of me, no fosterfamily, no loving and caring boyfriend and no bigger brothers or sisters, they're all I got.
My mum is unavailable the next 4 days working for her friend in a place where she can't be reached, my brother never speak to me anymore, this basicly suck.
I wanna burry myself till sping comes, and I want my own hattifnatt... :/
Yeah, I've switched blogz alot lately, sorry for that but I'm beeing "tracked" by my psyco X'boyfriend, never tought I'd have one of those. Anyway.. I'm sitting up at 4.am just using that the internet is on at night for the first time since I got here. here is to my fosterparents. Love'em.
I'm atm talking to Helene, What I've done today is meeting Karianne. (Robins x) Putting all the lies up to daylight (there's alot of them) u'd be suprized how much it is. For notocing to you: Karianne is not a crazy bitch who beats people down, cleens things up, has her cellphone in a sock of wool and cuts up the neighbours cat and hang it from a tree.
She's a extremly shy, cute girl with a sense of humor and a great behavour, she's as unorganised as I am and we got more in comment than I'd think :)
Can't wait to get to know her better, and not to menchen the payback Robin is about to get ^^,
